When we last left off...I had posted on the scheduled day of our Day 3 transfer. This cycle we kept the process to ourselves until after the retrieval when we told select family members (moms and sisters were a 'must'), but found that I needed a little outlet for my hopes and anxiety, hence, the posting "to the world". I hit the "publish post" key, felt pretty good about it, and went up to shower. But then the plan changed. When I came back downstairs, my nanny said my cell phone had ben ringing. I looked at the ID...."Unknown" - i.e. the doctor's office....two missed calls and one message. My stomach lurched. The message said that the two embryos weren't growing on-pace with expectations and the transfer was cancelled. The tears immediately flowed. Call mom to tell her I didn't need to be picked up. Get tissue. Call husband. Need more tissues. Call doctor. Try to keep it together and do. Small victory. The doctor said he will change the culture and give them 3 more undisturbed days, meaning no one will bother them until Saturday morning, and we'd get a call then with the latest update. We'd either go in for a Day 6 transfer, or stay snuggled in bed. Likely with a fresh box of tissues. Call sister. Sister is hard to understand because she is crying more than me.
Now comes the 'head vs. heart' battle. My head tells me that if the growth had at least started on the third cleavage, there is a chance for Saturday, but that wasn't the case. Each remained at four cells; arrested growth the likely outcome. My heart tells me to have hope and remain positive, that there is still a chance for Saturday. My husband reinforced each day that it isn't over yet. So Friday afternoon, I picked up a bunch of yellow carnations (for hope and happiness and because I think carnations smell great) and some scratch-off lottery tickets (for luck). And the Saturday morning phone call brought good news - one little embryo kicked it into gear and "we have a very nice blastocyst to transfer". Tears of joy!
We remain hopeful for a positive outcome. And while it may not turn out that way, at least we have a chance for a sibling for our darling Ryan.