Saturday Morning: Business as Usual

I don't know why I expected a different result from that of our prior experiences - "third times a charm"? Alas, my body followed its own schedule, so I don't need to return to the doctor's office for a blood test. I cried, but not as much as I did when I found out about the cancelled Day 3 transfer. Maybe its because I'm so used to the two-week-wait ending this way? I'm sure more tears will come throughout the next few days because it is sad, but it isn't devastating. We wanted to give ourselves a chance at expanding our little family and we did. We are done with treatments and TTC and I am at peace with that decision. Not getting our desired result doesn't mean we go on in a different way - we will be a threesome, just as we were before. :-)

My Head is Full of Ideas

I woke at the ungodly hour of 4:45am to use the bathroom and check that Ryan was snuggled under her blanket. When I tried to go back to bed, the mind started 'working'. Mind you, I have today off from work so sleeping-in was definitely on my agenda. But, instead I spent the next hour hoping sleep would take over. No such luck. In my morning quiet time, I've managed two loads of laundry, changed lightbulbs, sorted the week's mail, cleared the recycled papers, and made a list of what I'd like to accomplish today (the top six entries involved sewing / crafting). Oh, and made coffee!

Possessing my mind is sewing! I need to finish up the custom girl chenille quilt. Other than that, I also started some toile mini-totes, which fit three diapers, portable wipe container, a bottle, disposable changing pads, and mom's wallet and lipstick. I carried my large diaper tote all the time, but unless I was going somewhere for a day or overnight, I filled alot less space in the stroller basket by having the mini-tote. I have two in progress - navy and pink - which I hope to have completed today and pictures posted.

Mason has the day off also, and he'd like to bring Ryan into his office for a few hours. I should have no problem buckling down in the sewing room this afternoon! That is, unless I need a nap after this early morning...

A Hiccup in Plans: Day 6 Transfer

When we last left off...I had posted on the scheduled day of our Day 3 transfer. This cycle we kept the process to ourselves until after the retrieval when we told select family members (moms and sisters were a 'must'), but found that I needed a little outlet for my hopes and anxiety, hence, the posting "to the world". I hit the "publish post" key, felt pretty good about it, and went up to shower. But then the plan changed. When I came back downstairs, my nanny said my cell phone had ben ringing. I looked at the ID...."Unknown" - i.e. the doctor's office....two missed calls and one message. My stomach lurched. The message said that the two embryos weren't growing on-pace with expectations and the transfer was cancelled. The tears immediately flowed. Call mom to tell her I didn't need to be picked up. Get tissue. Call husband. Need more tissues. Call doctor. Try to keep it together and do. Small victory. The doctor said he will change the culture and give them 3 more undisturbed days, meaning no one will bother them until Saturday morning, and we'd get a call then with the latest update. We'd either go in for a Day 6 transfer, or stay snuggled in bed. Likely with a fresh box of tissues. Call sister. Sister is hard to understand because she is crying more than me.

Now comes the 'head vs. heart' battle. My head tells me that if the growth had at least started on the third cleavage, there is a chance for Saturday, but that wasn't the case. Each remained at four cells; arrested growth the likely outcome. My heart tells me to have hope and remain positive, that there is still a chance for Saturday. My husband reinforced each day that it isn't over yet. So Friday afternoon, I picked up a bunch of yellow carnations (for hope and happiness and because I think carnations smell great) and some scratch-off lottery tickets (for luck). And the Saturday morning phone call brought good news - one little embryo kicked it into gear and "we have a very nice blastocyst to transfer". Tears of joy!

We remain hopeful for a positive outcome. And while it may not turn out that way, at least we have a chance for a sibling for our darling Ryan.

Additional Flannel Quilt

The customer came to pick up the order yesterday and I'm happy to report she loved the gift! My mom gave me our Winnie-the-Pooh flannel quilt 'just to show her'. I decided not to because I felt she already placed such a big order and I didn't want to be 'salesy'. It was folded back-side out so I took it from the bag and put it on the table. She said "what is that?" so I explained and showed it to her. You know what? She thought it was adorable and bought it too! I almost fell on the floor. She will give it as the gift once the baby is born. I think she will become a regular customer, as some people who have seen our work in person, do. I'm glad I took pictures of it a few days ago because I thought of posting it to Etsy - now I don't have to.

As for the custom chenille quilt order for a girl, I have cut all the chenille squares and of the 12 squares needed, I have 6 different chenille patterns with which to use. It should be a good mix.

Baby Boy Gift Order

The big baby boy gift order is all ready to go. I really like what the customer chose: The "Rory" quilt with a blue outer border and back, matching pastel blue teddy bear, and the Winnie-the-Pooh burp cloth, bib, and onesie set. I'm also happy to report that I used my husband's new camera so the pictures reflect the 'true' colors wwwaaayyyyy better than my camera. I'll start using his camera from now on! I'm sure he'll be thrilled. ;-)

On the heels of finishing this order, I received another - a custom chenille quilt for a toddler girl. It will be pink and green patches with a white inner border and pink outer border and back. I'm so happy to have another order on which to work! I'll again post the picture when it's done. Oh happy day!

Day 3 Transfer

This post will be a little 'off-topic', but it is weighing on my mind. For those of you that struggle (d) with infertility, or know someone who is (has), it is a trying time of life. What once was going about with a daily routine, suddenly becomes transformed into two-week pockets....the two-weeks waiting to try and the two weeks waiting to see if it worked. It is hard to keep ones mind off this cycle. We tried for 2 years and 11 months with and without medical help. The last 11 months were the 'easiest' because I had come to the realization that it wasn't going to happen for us. After all failed medical treatments, we naturally conceived and were in utter disbelief.

Our second time around has been alot easier. After trying again for 2 years and discovering that both tubes are blocked, we toyed with the idea of another medical procedure. We decided to give it a go, since we know it won't happen any other way. Even though we are each in our early 40s now, we'd regret not taking one final try. So here we are at our swan-song - today is our day 3 transfer. We're hopeful, but realistic. I take it as a good sign that today is the 21st and our daughter was born on the 21st.

We've gotten rid of all the left-over medication and I put my fertility monitor on Ebay. I have to say, how liberating! Regardless of the result, we are blessed with what we have and thank our lucky stars. Please keep us in your thoughts - and all those you know that go through this experience. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

It's 5:30am....And why am I awake?

I'm happy to report that we received a big baby shower gift order and I'm anxious to get started on it! My mom and I do 6-7 craft fairs a year to build the business (although we'd likely need to do upwards of 30 to make a real difference), and many people love our items. We get alot of enjoyment out of making customers happy even though when making the teddy bears, we sometimes want to throw the sewing machine out the window. :-) But it is always worth the effort when we receive compliments and repeat sales.

In October 2008, we opened an Etsy shop in hopes of generating sales from a larger customer base. Alas, our craft fair success has not translated into Etsy success just yet. I have a few thoughts on the reasons:

1) The Touch Factor - One cannot see and feel our products through a website. It is hard to convey a 'soft flannel' or see the actual large size of the panda and teddy bears. I think once seen in person, our customer feels comfortable that they are getting a quality product and then doesn't mind ordering post-fair or putting through a custom request.

2) Workmanship - Our teddy bears is a 23-piece pattern and requires alot of hand-stitching. We make our quilts with a double border, which many others forgo, and we hand-stitch parts of each one. Our burp-cloths have a full flannel back, accent ribbon, and applique that one does not see from the back.

3) Pictures - I need to take better pictures!! The outdoor shots convey color the best with the right sun exposure. I need to take advantage of 'good photography' days and get out there.

I'm hoping our little business can become a little bigger in 2009. Off to make a chenille quilt, teddy, and burp cloth set. I'll post a picture when completed - hopefully with good outdoor light. :-)

One of my New Year's Resolutions: Blog

Sooooo here it is January 16th, and I've 'started' my blog. It is a step in the right direction, but the hard part will be keeping it up. And I know that. Finding the time for my small side sewing business that my mom and I started 5 years ago is difficult enough when I'm spread thin between my full-time job, 2.5 YO daughter, small house by the beach, husband, and dog.

But - I am an accomplished woman! I know there is more time to squeeze out of the 24 daily hours! I can do this! I will just have to give up more sleep.....or take shorter showers....or make the most of the time I walk to and from the train. I mean, just walking seems like such a 'waste' of time, surely I can be multi-tasking then too. ;-)

I'm committed to seeing how it goes. I know I will be proud of myself come December when I've got a whole year written on which to reflect.

A bit more about me - I'm 2 months into my 40s (scary thought because some days I still feel 27), still love 80s alternative music, but classic rock is what I listen to most of the time, we live 3 blocks from the Ocean and I head into NYC everyday for my daily grind. I love to garden and grow vegetables, but I give the tomatoes away (I have a weird aversion to the raw tomato). I thoroughly enjoy the side baby quilt sewing business my mom and I started, but doing craft fairs is getting to be a drag. Another resolution for 2009 is how to get the business going outside of the fair-world, but maybe that will be my topic for tomorrow.....

I'm already thinking about other stuff to write about - and excited at the possibilities of this venture. I'd love to hear from you if you've read this - just so that I'll know someone has seen it. If not - that's OK too.

Cheers!